"BISHONEN MUYO: KEN-OHKI"
HERE COMES YOUSHO
It floated through space with all the elegance of form, function be damned.
Vast reaching arches and buttresses, curving lines and graceful extensions; all radiated from the perfection of an exquisite central oval. It was the sort of ship that reminded you why such conveyances were referred to as "she". And why sour ole sea dogs with several missing appendages and the odd multi-colored conversational avian nailed to their shoulders shed a tear every time one went down.
The beautiful creation drifted ever closer to a spectacular and relatively unique ball of blue, white, and green, ever closer to its purpose, ever searching. A star of not so unique proportions slipped its way from behind the planet, with awe-inspiring effect. Of course the only real witness was the great beyond, who never could seem to find a camcorder when it needed one. Holding its breath, the universe took it all in and smiled.
Wondrous, it seemed to say though with no words a human could ever perceive, let alone understand. It's a damn shame we gotta blow it up.
A Mad Bad Bishonen Lad Production...
Bishonen Muyou: Ken-Ohki OAV #2, Here Comes Yousho!
The interior had more to do with atriums, greenhouses, and other associated foliage zoos than the insides of a massive interstellar warship. A great central tree spread green and wide, reaching toward a transparent ceiling that revealed the vastness of space. Leaves stretched out, as though the call of such a multitude of stars was too much for it to bear unheeded. About it, wooden tumblers and screens of solid energy sprang to life. The work of centuries was finally bearing fruit.
Twin harvesters looked at each other nervously. They were beings of splinter, of root, of varnish. Floating side by side, a single red or blue gem for stimuli gathering, they considered the importance of the day's work. At one time they had been simply massive logs, a salt and peppershaker set for some giant's table. The skill and subtle perversion of their master had fixed that and now they seemed twin reliefs of beautiful women, trapped in mid escape from leafy bondage. The dryads that were Haruna and Sakuya sighed, and considered the five-sided door before them, seemingly part of the central tree itself.
There was a lot riding on this particular harvest. The fruition of centuries was finally coming to past. A long time ago, parked in a galaxy not so far away, the seeds had been sown for several lifetimes worth of work. It had taken mere moments to realize something had gone wrong. Minutes passed whilst they busied themselves wrangling the chittering royal monkey that had started it all. Another hour and the last of the gum was removed from the console. Repairs had taken much longer, and when completed, something far worse guarded the metaphorical succulent from final pickage. Somehow a password had slipped through the cracks; a caps-sensitive, ten million character-long key that would unlock the door shut on a child's whim.
That child stood before them, though the years had whisked him away from the incoherent madness of true childhood, and placed him on that nervous precipice of pre-puberty but post potty training. He was now a kid, and therefore considered old enough to "know better". This of course, had opened up a whole new avenue of evil. There was nothing quite as satisfying as that sudden rush of, "I really SHOULDN'T be doing this," as one's conscience went on over-load just before a prank was pulled.
Haruna amended that last thought. While the young boy's body wasn't quite rearranging its very cell structure in some free fall of deepening vocals and explosive hair growth, his mind had seemingly jumped ahead of the game. There was something oddly disconcerting about the way he stared at even "her" well-crafted approximation of the feminine form. He seemed to be... calculating, figuring where in all that he fit. Given some of the websites on his favorites list, he apparently had plans to fit into a lot of places.
Still, at least the little hammer horror had the decency to look ashamed and hopeful at the same time as he watched. He had helped unlock several thousand characters of the code, mixing an unhealthy hacking interest with personal redemption. From his perspective, he was just looking forward to seeing his big brother again. After all, he was so much bigger then before and his memories of a towering brother giant thingy were likely faulty. Humph, we'll just see who noogies WHO! Still, he was glad that the Guardians had waited till they had gotten somewhere on their quest before finally releasing his sibling. The code had been broken weeks ago, but better to release the sleeping bishounen from time locked storage with something to focus on, other then perhaps ire.
To be honest, the Guardians could have called in some help from their home planet, the Arbor's Utopia and Walden Wonderland known as Jurai from whence these particular sprigs of nobility had sprung. But then, that would have had the wooden duo explaining how they had let the youngest prince imprison the elder one for... good goddess... several centuries. Both Haruna and Sakuya shook their heads, which in turn shook the entirety of their singular structure. Sakuya brought up a screen to reveal the new planet they had just saddled up to.
Distractions, that's what was needed. Distractions enough to work on a newly defrosted prince with dreams of sugar frosted princesses in nine-inch stilleto heels still prancing about in his groggy, gray matter. To awake, closer then he had ever dared come; in a way, they had helped him, right? Much better to sleep through the boring parts and his little brother's incessant queries as to their thereness, right? Wake me when we get there, right? Perhaps that would be enough to excuse several centuries of frozen narcolepsy... ... right?
They were doomed.
Finally, having no way to put it off any longer, Haruna cleared her synthesized throat. "Unlock the time freeze now." Several computers and sentient machinery went to work, flawlessly entering the massive code. "Synchronize systems to standard space time."
The last came out a bit choked. Originally, when the accident had seemed a minor one, the Guardians had halted all time tracking devices in the ship. The hope was that the problem would be resolved in a few days, no harm done. While such a ploy might have worked for up to several weeks or so of deep freeze, it could hardly be hoped that prince Yousho wouldn't notice the Rip Van Winkle sort of changes in his surroundings.
The pentacle of the tree door split, sliding back and allowing a white haze to seep out from its nether regions. Inside, a great dark cave seemed to loom far into its recesses. Slowly, almost as if sleepwalking, a figure stepped forward. Half iceman cometh, half Good Humor man, the proud, noble face of Prince Yousho came into view. His eyes half closed, his mouth still trying to work, he came into the light. A massive white stabilizer suit clung to his body. In his hands, two popsicles, one Juraian berry burst, the other a simple fudgesicle, were held aloft.
Juraian ships were trans-dimensional of course, capable of going nearly anywhere at nearly anytime. Cyro and stasis locks were dinosaur fossils from ships far in the past, before a time when any could rightly recall. They retained their presence on most ships for the dual purpose of a place to stay should the ship be put out of action and drift about in the endless depths of space, hoping for a rescue... and the much more practical application of ice cream storage. There was not a fridge or matter replicator that could retain the creamy, chocolaty goodness of a fudgecicle half as well as a good ole fashioned stasis chamber.
"Wha- what, where am I? Where are... Sagami? Your ice-cream." Yousho fumbled a few steps further, his eyes blinking furiously, and he smiled at the graceful polished curves of his two servants, before looking to his brother. Sagami was currently hiding behind Haruna, hands clamped vicariously to her wooden buttocks... both of them.
Damn, he's still a hell of a lot bigger then me, Sagami thought. Then the sudden recognition of a fudge need gone unmet for centuries kicked in. "Cool! Thanks bro!" Snagging the tasty treat, the younger prince ripped off the paper coating, admired the sugary glazy goo that surrounded any decent fudgecicle. Grinning at the tasty treat, the younger prince tore in, painting his lips and face a distinct brown.
"You're welcome, but please remember your manners." Yousho scolded, removing the covering on his own snack and dyeing his tongue a deep purple. "Which brings me to another question. Haruna, Sakuya, why is my brother a foot taller and several brain cells smarter then when I last left him?" The prince paused, giving the dryads a chance to answer. When none was forthcoming, he took a long suck from his cicle, and noted the massive orb before them. "And what planet is that? I seem to recall most of the blue-green balls within our system and that one is just not registering."
"Colonized planet 0315, planet Earth." Sakuya put in; happy to have a question she could answer.
"Ah, so this is where my sister Aeka is?" Yousho smiled, his lips only slightly purple, not a drop of berry juice spilt on his nice white, blue and green outfit.
"Ahem, no. I'm afraid the energy signature we detected from this planet was that of Kagato."
Yousho almost choked, "Kag- Kagato?"
"Bitchin!" Sagami cried.
"It is NOT bitchin', Sagami! We're going to need a bigger boat!" The first prince of Jurai steadied himself somewhat. No, now was not the time to give into fear. Logically, his sister and future bride had followed the beast, determined to stop the demon from destroying any more worlds or lives. If that genocidal madman; with delusions of sanity and enough raw natural power to knock stars out of their orbits; could attack Jurai, the symbol of peace, justice and the Juraimerican way throughout the universe, then no one was safe. At least, not till he was stopped.
"And my sister's ship?" Yousho said quietly, anticipating the answer and contemplating the path it would likely send them down.
"We have found no trace of Azusa I'm afraid." Sakuya's elation at the complete and utter distraction the current news was providing melted as the pained look danced about her master's face.
"Then we'll just have to ask Kagato, won't we?" Yousho's popsicle snapped in half, landing on the ground with a thick splorp. "Before we bring what's left of him to justice."
"Unfortunately," Haruna inserted, having already accessed the evil man's criminal file, "all of Kagato's crimes are five seconds away from being deleted, thanks to the statutory laws of the holy council of Jurai."
"What?" Fuming, the prince cried, "On screen!"
A spectral picture of a slightly effeminate man with a hard stare and wireless glasses, draped in purple appeared. A list of crimes scrolled to his left, a counter merrily counting down underneath them. When finally it reached zero, the files disappeared and there was only Kagato. He stood there, a smug look on his face, and what seemed to be his middle finger pointing skyward.
"Alright, hold up. Since when does terracide, treason and attempt to commit royal obliteration have a statute of limitations?" Yousho cried out, looking incredulously at the screen.
Haruna cleared her throat and explained. "Apparently, none of those were part of his criminal record. It seems Kagato was only charged with a parking violation, trespassing on government property, possession of an unlicensed cabbit and calling a member of the royal household, flat chested. The last was the only one with a statute lasting more then a handful of centuries."
Sagami chirped up, "Yeah, if you hadn't been in the deep freeze for six centuries or so, you probably could have nabbed him on that one."
Yousho, deep in the zone grown folks enter when important things young-uns have no business being involved in are being discussed, seemed not to hear. "Then who was charged with the sacking of Jurai?"
Sakuya answered, "With the advent of more and more sentient star ships, the royal house of Jurai has mandated that owners will be responsible for possession of, but not of any crimes committed by... a living warship. Basically, Kagato doesn't kill people, cabbits do."
The prince stood there for a second, absorbing, then paused. "What's a cabbit?"
"We're not sure, we've tried to piece what little information we have on the subject. We believe it is a car and a rabbit cross-gendered." As Haruna spoke, a screen popped up showing what to Earthling eyes could only be a VW Rabbit. "Though nearly extinct, there are a few of such conveyances puttering around the planet's surface."
Yousho considered the metallic death trap and shuddered. "Well, I can certainly see the cause for hysteria. But, that's neither here nor there, now is the time for the capturing of a demon... a paladin and his monster."
"But- "
"No cabbit kidnapped Princess Aeka, of that I can assure you. Kagato either knows where she is, or where she is buried. If it's the latter, I shall be very put out." Yousho's eyes flashed dangerously, "We'll simply apprehend him as a suspect in a murder case and if he resists, we'll use what force is necessary to keep him restrained."
Haruna and Sakuya accepted the command eagerly and turned to the multitude of duties that needed tending when hunting such a dangerous quarry. Sagami strolled off to his room to have himself a good think about his place in the coming struggle. All about Yousho the ship hummed along, obeying without question. One just didn't stand between a prince and a dragon... or a distressed damsel for that matter.
Yousho smiled a grim little smile and bent down to retrieve his spoiled snack. Somewhere in the middle of his bend, Sagami's last words rang out in his mind.
"SIX CENTURIES OR SO!?!?!"
Achika fumbled around in the upper shelves, reading labels and applying them to her mood and current life situation. No, not the Vanilla Jim Bean, that was for wedding discussions. She also passed by the Jamocha Almond Crunch, which was reserved for tanned foreign women that made one feel insecure. Flavorings, beans, and caffeine: a soothing combination for jangled nerves, and often the necessary lubricant to loosen the rusted tight hinges of a young girl's heart.
Over such alchemical concoctions as Berry Cherry Tangerine Blend and Count Chockula's Cup of Caffeine, they had weathered every personal storm from loss of a father and husband, to puberty, to discussing feelings of less then one's personal freshest. She needed that extra help now, needed something that had the power to invoke memories of that trip to France and... what was his name, the waiter?
Jean Luc? Yes, that was it, or was that name of the captain from the Love Boat? Obviously, she needed a cup or two herself.
She had yelled at Tenchi, her daughter, and her best friend. The young girl had come home late, disheveled and unresponsive. Nothing is more dangerous then an unchecked motherly panic, especially when responded to with apathy. Things had gotten said, and voices had been raised. At one point, a stuffed animal had even been taken hostage!
Damn, girl, get a grip. You are NOT going to turn into your mother, too distrustful of the world to allow Tenchi even a phone call from a member of the opposing gender. No, her daughter was not going to have to hide a stash of GQ or the newest CLAMP Bishounen Blowout under her bed, not in her house. Granted, there was such a thing as too much leniency. That bizarre man-thing of a girl that seemed to hang around her daughter, Amgasuzi or some such, proved that.
Still, vorific doujinshi with the Monkees and DoCo, or whatever else the young girl might find her puberty-oppressed brain picking up at Comiket; Achika wasn't about to let it change their relationship. Besides, after the late evening news report had displayed images of what had once been a school and was now a rather impressive hole, nearly half a block in diameter... she was feeling a sudden urge to hug her little girl in a defensive posture for several hours. Hmmm, yes, Vienna Cream was good for mommy at her dearest and most needful.
Achika didn't even register that the sample she brewed had enough get up and go to mobilize a battalion of well-armored sloths to near berserker frenzy. After all... school would probably be canceled until they at least found a couple of bricks or some such. Gathering everything on a bamboo set, the middle Masaki walked up the steps with graceful, light steps, savoring the expectation of a soon to be shared moment.
That's when she heard the sound of a young girl's knees giving out, as though the straw like element of some nip-less addition in her life had proven too much for her spinal cord. Perplexed as to the sound, to say nothing of the allegory, Achika placed the tray down and peered into her daughter's room.
"Oh my goddess!" Achika exclaimed, though as quietly as she could. Her little girl had a visitor!
Tenchi shook her head, and looked askance to her plushie book bag. It offered no clue to its feelings on the matter, and the large head lulled to the side weakly. Getting back to her feet, the young girl walked a bit closer to her visitor, one hand digging around her companion's innards, looking for a splinter of protection.
The bed's occupant stirred, his eyes snapping open in an instant. Like some pasty-faced antagonist from an old black and white German film, he switched from horizontal to vertical without all the unnecessary in-between movements that those of use without the ability to float, suffer. Gently raising and then lowering himself off the bed, Kagato stood before Tenchi, and let his presence sink in.
Getting a firm grip on the situation, and bit of Lucas lumber in her pack, Tenchi actually risked turning her back to the intruder. As casually as she was able, the young girl walked over to her desk and placed the furry backpack over her chair. Suddenly, with both hands on the phallic defense, she spun around and pointed the end with all the dangerous glowing bits at Kagato. "HUZZAH!"
Nothing happened for what seemed a very, very long time.
Kagato cocked an eyebrow, but left the safety on. "Out of batteries?"
Becoming increasingly aware of her suddenly rather ridiculous stance, Tenchi shrugged. "I dunno, but I have this overwhelming sense of deja vu."
"True," Kagato nodded. "Except, last time I believe there wasn't so much leg or chest area showing; perhaps you should cover up a bit before we continue." Smiling with that smug smile that made more esoteric bluff obsolete, the pale skinned young man pointed to Tenchi's discard skirt. "Perhaps you lack mad nekkid skillz."
And Achika had been wondering if prolonged exposure to Amgasucki had ruined her daughter's taste for men! Why, she had not only picked up what looked to be a fine slice of beefcake, she had snuck him up to her room and had lied to her mother about it. The not quite matronly Masaki stifled a tear and bit her bottom lip; she was SOOooo proud of that girl.
If she was her father, she'd probably find a ladder and the family camcorder and capture the Sony moment. But as her mother, she knew it better to respect Tenchi's privacy. Besides, it sort of looked like things were wrapping up as it were; at least they were in that getting dressed, looking at each other in the confused and guilty way section of any good blooming relationship.
If only Achika had been focusing on the floating madman during the whole vampiric arise and not checking to see if her daughter was exposing the prerequisite amount of hip and sway. Maybe then she might have been a bit more askance of the sort of boys her daughter was bringing home.
Tenchi followed the indicating digit and then looked down and took stock. Her upper layers took on a distinct cherry flavored coloration and she barely suppressed a squeal. The half clothed young lady leapt into her skirt's opening and tugged it up, keeping the hunk of wood firmly between herself and her possible assailant. When she was done, she looked back up and found him to be standing where she had left him, apparently staring at her.
The lovely pink of cherry inflamed to a bright strawberry as she buttoned her blouse. "Stop staring like that! Girls don't like a boy who stares."
A slight pink twinge discolored Kagato's grey features... but the sudden warmth soon fled from the frost of his visage. "I stare at what I wish, though believe me I see nothing of apparent interest here!"
Bull! He was staring, girl. Don't let him get away with that, he's checking out the goods! Achika wanted to cry out, but she allowed herself a slight smile. Apparently, things weren't as "wrap up" as she had first thought. Brrrr, he's kind of a cold one though, maybe she should offer up some Kiwi Oyster Cappuccino for defrosting purposes.
"Humph, like you have room to talk, you're half hanging out of your shirt yourself, and- and... where the hell are your nipples?" Tenchi gained control of her epidermal spectrum till the last word, now she was trying to cool down. The constant shifts in temperature were making her a mite dizzy.
Now it was time for Kagato to take stock, scowling slightly at the indignities of it all. Placing a white glove to his chest, as though checking things for himself, the youth reset his clothing and ran his fingers through his hair, aligning it perfectly. When he was done with the nip and tuck, everything was set immaculately. "As for the lack of mammary toppings, they are rather useless on a male mammal, simply evolutionary oversights. Pointless in the extreme, I see no point in devoting vital energy to them, just like the appendix, or the tonsils... or the heart."
Tenchi quashed the odd feelings of disappointment that rose up when he went from wild and unruly to all business. "No heart? How do you move around, pump blood, sustain a circulatory system.... " How do you feel? The young girl wondered absently.
Awwww, he's all Tinmany! Yep, definitely damaged goods. What was it with Masaki women and fixer uppers? Still, Noboyuki had turned out to be the greatest friend, lover, and companion Achika could ever want, so who was she to judge? Besides, this guy had nice buttocks, though well hidden in those frilly pimping robes of his. But then, you never could hide a good slab of rump from the well-practiced eye of Achika Masaki, especially not when she was comparison-shopping for her little girl.
Kagato shrugged, and inadvertently answered the muse, "I feel perfectly fine, don't ever recall needing one. Now then, can we get to the business at hand?" Internally, the young man was raging. He could feel the approach of some great energy, though could only guess at the source. A single ship perhaps, with enough power to dwarf the entire technical might of the planet. That was even including the leftover bits of tech from the original colonization and their caretakers. Bah, he had been out of the game too long.
Given the planet's ownership, that narrowed the field down considerably. Plus, there was the extra agitant of this... girl. Isolated fantasies while alone and trapped were all well and good. Now that he was free, he could see them and this woman for the liabilities they were. All this energy wasted on what he could only attribute to frustrated urges from a youth devoid of much physical contact.
If that's how it was going to be, then fine. He'd deal with his body's illogical needs as they came up. But certainly there were more attractive, bouncier offerings of varying sexual aptitudes out there in the deepness of space. Why was he letting himself get hung up here? Why was he actively considering leaving this planet unscathed, with only her presence as a possible acquisition? And why the hell did he feel like he was being watched?
Tenchi cleared her throat. "Introspect much?"
Kagato coughed into his sleeve and focused his thoughts on the here and now. Reaching out, palm forward toward Tenchi, he commanded loudly, "NOW then. The orbs, if you please."
Good lord, from zero to ninety. Make him work for it girl!
Her sheen passing right by the fruitier colors and settling right on red hots, Tenchi fumbled a bit with her blouse again. "Whoah, just- just slow down a bit. I mean, sure, I can give you the milk, but then I'll be stuck with just the cow and- and-" She was quoting grandmother Aeka, and badly. "You can't just request free and clear access to a girl's breasts like that!"
Kagato stood there a moment, frozen. When he finally defrosted, his flush response had almost given him the healthy rose pink quality of a deftly spanked rear end. "You- your... brea- breasts? Good gods woman, I mean the orbs on the sword!"
Tenchi's head cleared as the fever seemed to ebb. She couldn't take much more of this rampant mutating flush response. Idly she wondered how really shy and innocent girls like her grandmother had ever survived foreplay. For some reason, the words 'leather harness' surfaced from some repressed section of her brain. Quickly beating the thought into submersive submission, she fiddled with her stick, and tried to sound matter of fact. "Oh, well, of course... why was that again?"
Because I plan on getting a few galaxies between the two of us lest the Galaxy Police ever turn you into an offensive weapon, Kagato cursed mentally. All thoughts of kidnapping and experimentation had fled the madman's mind. The young girl was simply too dangerous a distraction. Besides, he had finally gotten a better fix on the circling doom overhead.
He knew the energy signature, knew the power. Only a member of the royal family had that flavor, and that only left one candidate. After all, it was either him or the Imperials themselves, and Kagato would have noted their presence long before they got this close. "Because I'm in need of my ship. I want to be off of this tinker toy of a planet you people have and back to what I do best."
Tenchi considered the last statement, something told her he wasn't the best encyclopedia salesman in the universe. And she had let him loose. Wasn't there some sort of family tradition about defeating evil whereever it was found? She reminded herself pointedly of the school. Hell with that, nobody in her family had ever had to deal with something like this!
Well, except maybe the ancient princess, but she was mythology, and that hardly counted.
As if to counter that thought, a being that was a part of that very mythology stepped forward, "So then, if you would... I'll call Ken-Ohki and be on my way."
Tenchi snapped her fingers, suddenly remembering. "Ken-Ohki, the other demon from the legend?"
"I really wouldn't know, girl. I was either incapacitated or short leash bound while this whole legend business was going on." Kagato sighed and then took another step forward, his outstretched hand seemingly even more urgent.
The first prince of Jurai was VERY close!
Oh, Achika exclaimed, finally understanding. Love games, they were role-playing something from Tenchi's own shrine into a neat little romp of discovery. Mother Aeka would be furious! Why hadn't she ever thought of that? My daughter, the kinky one. Still, the coffee was getting cold and she really had no plans of third base coaching her daughter any further into blossoming womanhood.
Achika would get some sleep and be right there in the morning with a cup of Afterglow Surprise waiting on Tenchi. There would be much sharing, comparing of technique, and of course the responsibility talk. Come to think of it, did either of them remember to bring any protection? She could snag something from her bathroom, slip it under the door, all smooth-like... hmmm.
She was distracted from her diaphramic diversions by a single word that changed the entire mood of the blossoming conversation. Did- did her little girl just say...?
"What do you mean, no?" Kagato paused, stepping back, a look of true perplexity crossing his features.
"What I mean is no," Tenchi declared, with more finality then she thought possible to muster under Kagato's steely glare. "What I mean is I've already let loose one demon tonight. I'd kinda like a little sleep, a hot bath, and some breakfast before I even CONSIDER letting lose another! What I mean Kagato is, please come back tomorrow, I have a headache."
Kagato sneered, and suddenly lunged forward. His right hand locked onto Tenchi's wrist with a grip that simply obeyed no physical law beyond his own; it would not be broken. His effeminate features grew massive from closeness as he brought the young girl tight against his body. The madman's breath was chill and frosty against her skin, and his eyes bored so deep into her own as to make her stomach do several back flips. "Are you sure, little girl? Right now, a Seraphim descends from the heavens, looking to strike down one of the fallen. I promise you, he will not care who or what gets in the path of his righteous fury!"
Tenchi willed strength throughout her body and she made an attempt at Kagato's weak points, as she had been taught. Her fingers formed up into sharp daggers of flesh and bone and her stance widened to give her optimal force. But either those pressure points were simply not there or the demon had learned well from his experience at the school. The counterattack had no effect and soon she found both arms held above her. Only his face loomed large and ever-present, her face burning from the frost of tight exposure.
With little real effort, Kagato walked Tenchi over to her bed and fell over her, pressing her deep into comforter and pillows. His weight was oddly light for his size; the young girl figured she should have been able to physically throw the man, if only reality would accept the truth of it. Still, he continued the pressure, drowning her body in blankets, cushions, and himself. Suddenly, his breath wasn't so cold, and he seemed to gain in weight, in substance.
Tenchi looked up at him, almost more curious then afraid. He was looking at her again. Eyes, almost softening... almost- no, it was gone. Kagato raised himself up, and shook his head. Suddenly, legs spread and then clamped the young girl down, viselike. Sitting atop of her, he, took her in again, devouring the helpless woman underneath him with his gaze, "I- I'm sorry." The secondary moment passed, faster then the first and was replaced with a scowl. "But you WILL give this to me!"
Oh hell no! Achika neatly leaped the bamboo coffee set, covered the length of the hallway in a single agile bounce, and stalked to the lethal length adorning the place board above her bed. She gave the leather covering of the bladed end a tug and it fell away. A quick spin put it into her hand and ready for use. She had kept it oiled and herself in practice more out of embarrassment and cultural deference to her elder, than any real need for household protection.
With a young girl in the house though and a husband that often had to leave on long business trips, he had actually encouraged Achika's adherence to the old training. Nobuyuki had even dubbed it the BFG or the Boy Friend Gutter. It had amused him with thoughts of chasing prospective suitors about the living room while his little girl spent the four or five hours necessary to look just as pretty as she did when she went in.
Setting her grip firmly and making her way back to Tenchi's bedroom, she felt as though her absentee lover would have whole-heartedly approved.
Letting her left arm free, Kagato carefully pried Tenchi's hand from the wooden handle. Though she fought to keep them clenched, she simply didn't have a chance in hell. At best, she could give up a token resistance and not force him to rip the item free, along with a few fingers.
With a roar of triumph, the youth held the weapon aloft. He felt the siren call of all the gems begging that their master set them free of their own prison, wanting to be loosened like a cloud wishes to storm. Red and glistening, they waited heavy with the promise of tornados and hurricanes the likes of which no mere single world had ever seen. It was like holding onto the swirling central orb of Jupiter, magnified to the ends of the cosmos.
But, the gems weren't the only power there, not by a long shot. Interwoven throughout the grain of the wooden implement rested another force, the force of Genesis itself! Though the difference in strength between gems and sword was marginal to the point of nonexistent, the simple fact remained that it was the sword that was in control. Though the gems yearned to comply, the weapon would not. Simply put, the rusty old hunk of junk was not his to command.
The energy poured up Kagato's hand and set his eyes and teeth smoking! The young woman underneath let out a scream and shut her eyes tight, though the illumination burned its way through her lids. Arcs of discharge danced up and down the entirety of his body, setting flames to his very form. Already, the glove holding the weapon was melted to a dripping slag and the fragrance of burned flesh wafted from everywhere about his person.
"No damnit! I am Kagato! I am your master!" Kagato cried out, with all the rage and denial he could muster, which was a vast quantity. It signified nothing of consequence as the pain increased three fold, five, ten, a thousand fold and more.
Achika saw the lights and heard the howls of pain and rage unchecked. Even more so, she heard a young man affirm domination over her little girl. If grandmother Aeka wasn't able to tear Tenchi from her mother's bosom, no pasty-faced date rapist was going to even come close. Adrenaline and angry distraction fought it out in her cranium like two very disturbed, very wet cats in a single burlap sack. Shredding through reason, she took the final leap to Tenchi's door, and spun the naginata low.
The effect had all the intimidation of watching Death itself dismount and put a sharpening stone to its scythe. It would have been truly impressive had anyone witnessed it. And if only she had missed the bamboo coffee set on the landing. Death warmed over slipped in that moment from Bergman to Pratchett and the middle Masaki found herself tumbling painfully down a flight of stairs. She kept a tight grip on the naginata on the way down, not want to land on anything more pointed and uncomfortable than stairs or landing.
Oblivious to the triumph and tragedy outside, a young girl chanced a glance at the spectacle above her. "Oh put it down Kagato," Tenchi cried out, horrified at spasming mass above her and the twisting nightmarish mask that was his face.
In the end, it was neither her cries nor a weakening of Kagato's resolve that ended the encounter. An explosion as the young man's hand and arm blew asunder rocketed him off the bed, through the air, and into wet contact with Tenchi's wall. Where the back of his head connected with a Giant Robo poster, green ichor splattered over its surface. When he hit the ground, he didn't move. His still form just lay there and smoked, dripping more of the bog-like fluid on the carpet.
The picture of Ginrei simply absorbed the apparently alien blood, without comment.
Tenchi rolled off the bed and picked up the wooden weapon. Her internal instincts were in all out warfare with one another. Adrenaline was crying for her to finish him, to run like all hell, or at the least get some band aids. There was also that teeny bit that forwent all logic together and told her to go to him. She fought all the compulsions down. The girl had learned a few things about Kagato throughout the night and foremost among them was he was one tough bastard.
Already, he was lifting himself up with his good arm, his ONLY arm, and leaning against her wall. The emerald goo that dripped from his point of impact, down to his hair now matted against her wallpaper, causing it to stick up in funny ways. He looked at her then, and let out a long-suffering sigh, then shook his head when she moved toward him. "'Tis but a scratch."
Staggering a bit, Kagato used the leverage of his legs and her wall, to stand. Then he placed his right hand over his left... stump. "I've had worse," he assured her, and the slight smirk he aimed her way affirmed that her earlier disarmament was part and parcel of "worse".
"You- your arm's off." Tenchi grumped, somewhat certain of what would come next.
"No it isn't." Kagato smiled, and then his face squenched up horribly as he seemed to push with his stump and pull with his remaining arm. There was a horrible sound of meat getting forced through- well, through more meat. A limb of red and green, flesh and bone, but skinless extended from his trunk, grasping at the air as though tasting it through a thousand screaming synapses. A moment later, skin bubbled onto its surface, as though it had been boiled off, filmed, and then run backwards. Finally, fabric wrapped the entire package, frosting in the form of a white glove.
Achika scowled, and let out the sort of epithets you can't learn at school, on the street, or even at the local wharf from Yakujo, the sailor with more brow then brain. This stream of plaster peeling expletives could only come from one source... a beloved parent. Pulling her BFG and using it as a crutch, she brought herself to her feet. Apparently, this was not as good of an idea as she had originally thought.
With a slight yelp, she realized her left leg had apparently not been as quick as the rest of her body in its flight down the stairs. Gritting her teeth, Achika grumped out a few more syllables that would've earned her the Irish Spring treatment. Shakily, she did the whole one foot in front of the other which had achieved a whole new scale of Herculean difficulty. And she had stairs to go up.
Grunting, she set her sights on the summit of the Matterhorn, and began the climb. It was slow going, but any rush would definitely cause her trouble later on and she had plans for those brief shining moments in a certain male's life. Besides, it was him that was crying out earlier, probably finding that an uncooperative Masaki woman was worse than catching a tiger by the tail.
Hell, if you put any Aeka-trained female behind one door and a rampaging saber tooth gutter feline behind the other, pray that you only became meow mix. Just a bit longer, Achika cried out mentally, hobbling forward in painful and throbbing gait, Mommy is coming!
"That was one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen. Do you show that to all your dates?" Tenchi gasped. " I don't remember it being quite so gross at school."
"Only the ones with the odd habit of removing my extremities." Kagato actually smiled, and though thin-lipped and pained, it was probably only the second genuine one she had ever seen on him. "I'm weak Tenchi, all this fighting and cave dwelling and trying to plug my AC into a DC has taken its toil. Back at the school when I regrew, all I had to do was convert some pare energy into matter. This time I had to regrow the thing. Next time I may just have to rip off a replacement from whomever is handy. Now then, hand me that stick so I can give it another go."
"No! You can't touch this thing Kagato, admit it before you do burn off something you can't grow back." Tenchi chided. "Is the angel really coming?"
"Soon, Tenchi. You're in the middle of Jihad, and their apathy for you is only surpassed by their loathing for me. They will eradicate this town and everyone in it, if only to get me while I'm down." Kagato brushed his new hand through his hair, and all the Kagato goo disappeared, leaving it perfectly styled.
Yousho's sinuses emptied themselves out onto his sleeve. "Oh man, I am fighting something, damn Martians. What's our status Haruna, Sakuya?"
Haruna swiveled to face her liege and chirped merrily, "Closing in now sire, and the weak signature readings we were getting has been confirmed, along with a burst of something Juraian in origin."
"My sister?" Yousho asked, barely checking his excitement lest it break his hard won cool.
"We can't confirm that," Sakuya replied, "the surge was too brief. However, it did coincide with a massive browning of Kagato's readings. Maybe your sister had him trapped in some sort of jail sire; that would account for the weakness. Plus, breaking through might cause the surge we detected and anything your sister set upon the man would surely tap his resources to the core."
"Bondage, oh yes, big sis was always good at that." Yousho smiled, the hunt coming closer to its end, the smell of blood fresh in the air. "Get in closer, but try not to scare the locals much. Near as I can tell this colony isn't ripe for reintegration. Oh, and for goddess sake, when Kagato appears, fire only on my command. The last thing we want are a bunch of civilian casualties, let's remember whose planet we're on."
A small spherical wooden object floated toward Yousho, patiently awaiting his notice.
"Yes?"
"Your brother wanted to speak with you," the computer unit stated in a soothing, feminine voice.
Yousho sighed. "Look, tell him I forgive him and I'm busy. I'll play with him after I'm done fulfilling my life-long quest." He shook his head about the last bit. Technically, for him, he had only left a week ago... six hundred... years!
Sagami's voice suddenly broke over the computer's own, "You are so un-wizard! Let me out of here! I wanna see Kagato! Man, I promise to be good. You can't blame a kid for something he did six hundred years ago! Hell, even Kagato got pardoned!"
The prince shook his head, "No, you'd only get in the way, or get hurt or end up getting me hurt and then I'd have to jettison you and I'M sure as hell not explaining that to mom. Besides... un-wizard? What the hell does that mean? Have you been hanging out on the Tattoine chat sites again?"
The computer ball simply floated there a bit, neither it, nor Sagami answering.
"You HAVE been! Listen, I'm telling you, I don't care how good a chat buddy he is, that Anakin_666 kid gives me the creeps."
"What, just cause he likes them older? How old was big sis when you proposed?" Sagami taunted.
"That's different, that's royal prerogative!"
"Really?" Tenchi asked, trying not to lose herself in deep, dark orbs. Was she just imagining fear behind that gaze? What could someone like him possibly fear, beyond a schoolgirl with a loaded plot device. Come to think of it, he hadn't really had the easiest time of it; imprisoned, defeated, dismembered... balled. Somehow the young girl doubted he'd be recommending the Earth to any of his friends looking for a relaxing getaway.
Kagato watched the young woman before him, studying him, and then... perhaps a glint of sympathy? Sympathy for the devil? It was not unheard of, but most certainly not requested. How dare she? Turning from Tenchi's gaze, the madman shrugged. "It's what I would do. Look, I do not need nor require your pity, your concern, or your tears. What I need, are your gems... and perhaps the sight of this desolate orb receding into the infinite grasp of space."
Her shoulders falling, Tenchi nodded and studied the floor. What was she thinking? The last thing this man needed, certainly wanted... was her. She had a use, and when it was over, they'd go their separate ways, their separate worlds. "Well then, Lord Kagato, what is it that I have to do?"
"I'm glad your skills of logic have finally found themselves up to the task." Kagato spun around and began walking toward her, his hands reaching out to her shoulders. "First we-" Tenchi backed up, placing the shaft between them. He looked at her askance.
"I don't suppose some sort of embrace is required in this transfer," Tenchi asked softly.
"Well, it makes the transfer a bit faster, but it's not necessary for-"
"Good," Tenchi cut him off. "Cause I- I don't feel like touching yo- anyone right now, okay?"
Kagato balked, "It's certainly not a matter of me wanting intense physical contact with the shrine maiden of my oh-so-favorite ancient relig-"
"Then you don't have any objections," Tenchi interrupted him again and then nodded. "Good, that means we both get what we want."
The plunderer of planets, splitter of singularities, and noisy ninny in nova nuances the galaxy-wide simply stood there, working his lips almost absently. Conflicting emotions had drawn battle lines and were currently breaking Geneva Conventions and committing wartime atrocities in his internals. Granted, the brain had a long standing army with the manpower, technical superiority, and unquestioned sovereignty when it came to ruling Kagato's actions. Yet, his heart had been silent for some time, and had apparently been developing cybernetic mutagenic robo-ninjas... with rocket launchers... tipped with hormonal, empathy-laced warheads. Damn, weren't those ruled inhumane?
He shot Tenchi an accusing glance. Was she seeping out wiles, stealthily? Or perhaps a change in tactics to throw him off guard? Well, he was neither short, nor French and he wasn't about to go down just because Josephine was looking so- so... aw hell, what was wrong with her? He didn't want to go with her looking like that. Internally, a horde of bio engineered Asian shadow assassins set off a N2 mine.
"Look Tenchi, I-" Kagato paused, "Umm, you're not planning on interrupting me again, are you? I- I want to clear some things up, and I don't have much time." The madman's voice held a smidge of almost, sympathy if not submission. However, as he continued, it was made clear that such chocolaty coating could hold all the surprises of a crunchy frog. "And so help me if you interrupt me again, I'll not be responsible for my reflexes or the crater caused by them, okay?"
Tenchi nodded sullenly in compliance.
Kagato steeled himself to the task ahead as Care-Shinobi happily rode little puffy cloud cars to a secret shadow realm of heartfelt feelings and black-clad harbingers of death. There was a bit of white-gloved finger fumbling, followed by an imploring look to the young girl, hoping she wouldn't make him DO this. For her part, she simply studied the orbs embedded in a piece of wood. Finally, defeated, the pale skinned youth began, "Tenchi, I- "
A two foot long, five inch wide blade sliced through Tenchi's bedroom door. "Hereeee's Achicka!"
"WHAT?!?" Kagato's cry of rage at the interruption was eclipsed only by the massive sphere of green grisly doom that sprang into being in his left hand. To hell with them all, his brain cried, sending several Inter-Kagato-Ballistic-Missiles toward the fortress of Kill-A-Little-Share-A-Lot. Tenchi's room was suddenly bathed in the emerald light of the rage and power of a very unstable individual, being interrupted one time too many.
His peripherals barely registered Tenchi's answer. "Sounds like mom, armed with a BFG and several cups of concentrated caffeine."
The madman's eyes went wide as he registered the input. A mind capable of several million mathematical equations while still groggy and gonad scratching during the early pre-liquid upper morning began to compute. Tenchi upset, mother upset... city block destroying orb of energy equals... the sum was terribly Greek and depressing, Ray Harryhausen effects or no. Still not completely sure why he should care, Kagato slammed his hand down on the sphere and crushed it to oblivion.
Verdant particles filled the air for a brief moment and Tenchi looked up. Kagato seemed to be mentally cursing himself and at the same time stoically ignoring what seemed to be a smoking, probably throbbing left hand. Then a figure walked in through the butchered remains of her bedroom door. The lithe form of Achika began to approach the distracted madman with a purpose... and with a foot of drawn steel.
"Umm, mom, it's not what you think, really." Hell, how could it POSSIBLY be anything that she might come up with? It's not as bad as you think, mommy, it's worse.
Achika flashed her a gentle, understanding smile. "Don't you worry Tenchi, you're just suffering from the Stockholm syndrome. I'll brew up something strong, chocolate, and black to clear your head in just a sec. First, I have to have a little talk with this nice young man with the nice ass, but the horrid manners."
Letting his personal reserves deal with reforming bits and pieces of his hand, Kagato stood up a bit straighter and adjusted his specs. Another stream of curses scattered about his brain as he squashed a blush before it could start. She was definitely Tenchi's mother. The woman possessed the same strong features, the same inner fire, and topped it all off with large breasts and long legs.
He paused to reassess Tenchi. Perhaps there wasn't a more attractive member of the female persuasion to be found in the depths of space. Perhaps, she merely hadn't ripened. Another blush was brutally beaten in the dark corners of his mind. Yes, that's just what he needed, Beauty and the Beast combined in the most distracting of packages. It was as though the great beyond had sent him a mail bomb, and was currently at home, having a beer and a morbid chuckle at his expense.
"Ahem! Divine goddess of curves and grace with a large pointed thingy here!" Achika called, snagging Kagato's attention. With it firmly in her grasp, the middle Masaki smiled. "Listen, young man. I'll be the first to tell you that in many instances ‘No’ is always what it seems. The truth of the tease is one of those annoying realities we all must suffer through. There are times when it simply means, not yet. And there are times when it means ‘lick that over there, you see how lonely it is?’ And there are of course, times when it means ‘I'd like that nice shiny over there, the one with all the gold and sparkly nature.’"
Tenchi moaned, slumped to the floor, and prayed for death. Kagato raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. Oblivious, Achika continued...
"However, regardless, it always means ONE thing, and that's whoah there tiger. Ignoring the rider is how a horse may find himself in the glue factory. Now then, here's the deal... I'm going to chase you about the house with this extremely over-endowed letter opener." Achika gestured with the BFG and smiled sweetly. Kagato decided to remember that smile and use it later himself. The tender malice was rather alarming.
Tenchi tried to crawl between her legs and disappear. It wasn't working.
"After you escape to your home, wait by the phone. Tenchi and I will discuss what really happened. We'll assess the damage, have a few cups of coffee, and then call you to let you know what police involvement there will be if any." Achika paused and then sighed, giving Kagato another smile; this one seemed to have actual sympathy intertwined with all the showing of teeth. "It would be a shame to see such a nice butt being thrown to the tender mercies of jail time over a moments indiscretion in the heat of throbbing underdeveloped male passion."
Kagato scowled at the last, he had finally had enough. "Listen here madam. I'm not some young bestial pup that's lost control of the lower bits of his anatomy. You seem like a fairly intelligent older woman, please put the proof in that under cooked pudding, and notice that neither of us are even marginally unclothed." The madman's voice turned to a darker tone as he let his gaze drift from simmer to sizzle. "And I suggest you put that archaic bit of bygone weaponry up before it gets snapped in half and placed in uncomfortable places."
Achika looked at him levelly for what seemed like a long time. Kagato kept his gaze steely and infernal. Tenchi moaned in a fever of fiery, steaming, embarrassment agony.
Finally Achika smiled, Kagato nodded his head and turned, the matter settled and Tenchi began frantically signaling for his attention. But by the time he noticed her warnings, the motherly unit behind him had rammed the butt end of the Boy Friend Gutter into his back... hard enough to send him sprawling. Turning in a rage, the madman met a similar expression on the enraged matron.
"Sigh, now I have to stick the sharp bits of this into the softer bits of that." Achika emphasized with the metallic point toward Kagato's thigh. "If for the old woman comment if nothing else." Suddenly, all smiled again, she raised the weapon up over her head.
Kagato blinked... Tenchi squealed and Achika paused.
"Oh, please do run my dear. I think she likes you and I'd hate to have this become an issue." With that, the weapon came down, slicing floorboard and barely missing dodging madman.
Rolling, Kagato came up and put a chair in between himself and Achika, just in time to watch it convert into kindling. Reflexively, he opened a fist and summoned things greenish and destructive. His opponent spun her weapon, almost impossibly for its length and brought it under his legs. Tripped up, the young man went down again, sliding a bit. He began to snarl and motes of light become glowing dots of accumulating power.
Achika didn't seem to notice, but Tenchi did. "No Kagato, don't hurt her please! You promised you wouldn't hurt anyone here!"
Kagato scowled and dismissed the power while it was still a painless task and rolled from the thrust. She was good, too good in fact. He should have been skewered by now; not that it would have been a serious impediment, but why was she missing? Ah yes, she hasn't a clue; she was still just trying to scare him as some miscreant with overly lustful notions of her daughter.
Of course, given the frank nature of the woman, he seriously had to wonder where that line was drawn. Far off sensory organs that no human had ever evolved naturally gave of klaxons and alarms, alerting him to the rapidly approaching starship. Damn, he was out of time.
After centuries of imprisonment, his brief release was soon to be over, all because he was being blinded by pouty lips and fiery... willful eyes. No, it WASN'T going to end like this! Suddenly, he rose from the floor, not through muscle but by will and power alone. He never quite settled on the ground as he waited for Achika to take another lopsided, warning swing.
She was angling high and slow, giving him all the time in the world to dodge, and overextended, probably hoping to catch him on the noggin with the shaft if he couldn't get out of the way. Kagato floated back a bit suddenly, right into the metallic arc of death and waited. Achika WAS good though. She noted the movement, realized that the variables had taken a dangerous turn and was already frantically trying to check the swing before things turned wet, red, and messy.
Achika might as well have not bothered. Large, powerful fingers coated in white fabric caught the edge tight. With little effort, Kagato flipped the blade in his hands, and turned the shaft suddenly and painfully in her grip. But she wasn't about to go down just yet; she was, after all, Aeka's little girl. Landing on her good foot so as not to ruin the pivot with a sprained ankle, she went low and fast.
It took her a less then a second to realize that the leg sweep hadn't worked. Kagato was still standing. Her momentum was spent, and dragging her terribly off balance. Achika went with it and spun the foot over herself, rolling backwards, catching herself with her hands. Back-flipping herself into the air, she landed a few feet away, somewhat inexpertly on one good foot and one bad. The pale skinned young man was watching her, the BFG in his hand and seemingly taking stock.
She did likewise. How had he moved so fast? Had he anticipated the daring sweep? No, that was doubtful, she wasn't THAT out of practice, and he couldn't possibly be better trained, not at his age. But DAMN, he was strong. It had felt like hitting a concrete wall when he had caught the Naginata. Come to think of it, how the hell had he caught it in the first place?
Kagato seemed to finish his assessment first and smiled, mirroring her earlier one. Brrrrr, did it just get colder? And, had he just gotten taller? Something wasn't quite adding up here. Before she could mull too much further, the young man before her cleared his throat. "Madam, I apologize, I meant no offense. Obviously you are no older woman, but a marvelous example of the peak of human evolution. Still, I grow tired of games and have little time for them regardless. This is your last warning ma'am. You have no chance, make your time."
Slowly drifting from her defensive stance, Achika narrowed her eyes as she digested the information. A bit of it though, got stuck in her throat and she nearly choked. "Make your time? What the hell does that mean? And why aren't you on your buttocks, whimpering for mercy? You-" The elder Masaki paused as her eyes drifted downwards... so that's what happened. "Damnit, you're not touching the ground! That's not fair!"
Tenchi, finally on firm ground she had some recent experience in, decided to contribute. "It's beyond not fair. He can also summon energy, has super strength, he can phase, he regenerates, he can... he can..."
"Teleport," Kagato ventured, helpfully.
"You can teleport?" Tenchi almost scowled.
Kagato shrugged, "Well, it hasn't come up, but... yes."
Sighing Tenchi put her hands behind her back and grumbled. "And of course, he's a spuer genius."
"That's super genius," Kagato corrected.
"Whatever. So basically mom, he's not molesting me. In fact, he seems to be rather ignorant of just how cute and desirable you think I am." Tenchi shrugged, her feelings on the matter well hidden... all over her face.
"What are you, young man, a eunuch? I can tell you both as a mother and a woman that it don't get no better then that!" Achika declared triumphantly.
"MOM!!!"
Achika smiled and turned back to Kagato, "Anyways, I don't think you're quite right for my little girl. Sure you're cute as all hell, but such blindness to the all-that-and-a-bag-of-chips that my daughter is, proves you're not half the genius you profess to be. Kinda a shame, you've got what is a quite well formed butt, even though you hide it. Now then, stop floating and fight fair."
Kagato scowled, his mood freezing the blush before it even had a chance to form. "Fair? You, woman, seem to keep saying that. I wonder what is your basis for comparison."
Shrugging, Achika smiled, "Well, if you're going to be all Oni then I guess being the current highest ranking shrine maiden of the Masaki shrine, it's my duty to slay yah. Best I do it now, before you seduce my young innocent daughter into a world of the hellish sins of the flesh... nice as those are."
"Innocent? If anyone is being seduced it's me!" Kagato cried out, positively flustered. If one Masaki female was torture, two were proving to be purgatory incarnate.
"Really?" Achika gave a wink to Tenchi, "You go girl."
Tenchi blushed red and rosy. Kagato placed a gauntleted hand to his forehead, as if trying to will away a migraine. Achika lunged at him.
She grabbed a hold of the naginata with both hands, one in position for pulling, the other for a good hard push. Using the level, she began to a rough motion designed to shed Kagato the burden of his fingers. The madman howled as metal stained itself in green gooish blood. He barely clamped down in time to retain his digits. His eyes suddenly alight with anger and rage, tired of giving chances only to have them thrown in his face, the madman lifted both the Naginata and the woman holding it.
"That will be QUITE enough!" Kagato's voice had lost all it humanity, his eyes sparkled with an odd sort of madness that gave a solemn reminder of just how humanity survived during the days when everything had massive sharp pointy bits, except for them. Achika gasped, suddenly a little less sure of herself and even less sure of her weapon... but she kept a firm grip on it. "Woman, you will find that you do not wish to get me truly angry, and you have proven yourself incapable of dealing with things in a calm and rational manner. When you do that, you give your opponent no choice but to let loose the beast. And I promise you, mine is bigger then yours!"
Suddenly, Achika was feeling... weird. A strange sort of disassociated feeling, like she was going numb. No, it was more like- like falling apart at the seams. Tenchi let out a cry of shock and possibly terror, howling to Kagato about some sort of promise. Looking down, she got an inkling of what prompted such a reaction. She was positively transparent.
Kagato carried both weapon and her toward the wall, still holding them in one hand and ignoring Tenchi's cries. He looked up at the suspended Achika and sighed, his voice losing a bit of its edge. "Please, just stay put. I promise this will all be over before you know it." With that, the madman thrust both the butt of the weapon, and the woman clinging on it, through the wall.
Achika braced for impact, her mind trying desperately to gain enough access to her body to allow her to let go of the weapon as a lost cause. It just didn't seem to be working, that queer queasy feeling crept through every synapse, dulling her wits to bowling ball levels. It was like trying to think straight after a double latte of Jerry Berry Teddy Bear Blend. Nope, she was going to hit, and it was going to hurt, and he seemed quite confident of his ability to slam her through the wood and plaster of the wall.
It was about this time that something slipped up her spinal column, firing off klaxons as she braced for the ouch. It never came. Opening eyes she hadn't remembered closing, and trying to wonder what that odd little sensation was that had suddenly gone from itch to rash, she watched as Kagato pushed her through solid matter as if it... didn't. It was like the millions of pins and needles generally associated with narcoleptic pods had spread throughout her entire body.
She got one last glimpse of her daughter's room, her rather frantic daughter, and a pair of seething green eyes before she was outside. Achika sighed, that tight assed demon had phased her through her own house. Giving it a test, she found that somehow her letter opener with a pituitary disorder was fused into the wall. This left her hanging from its hilt, a story and a half above the ground.
"What did you do to her, Kagato?" It was the most lethal voice he had ever heard from the girl behind him. Memories of his own mother did an odd little rumba as his peripherals caught a blue glow behind him and the slight smell of ozone. He almost smiled, relishing a memory or two.
"Phased through the wall, Tenchi and with the weapon fused, hanging over a drop that given her nimbleness won't be much of a problem for her. I'm sorry, but she was being, unreasonable." Kagato sighed, suddenly the world retaining its usual weight around his shoulders. "I am afraid I can not stand the unreasonable, a plague that ends up killing the unwary and those it contaminates. Luckily for her, I have a promise to keep."
The sound of energy retreating to its sheath of fiber and wood pulp turned Kagato around to look at Tenchi. She was... smiling at him, with eyes a bit moist. "I- I'm glad you keep your promises."
Kagato shrugged, deciding to keep to himself his less then stellar reputation when it came to word bondage. "And what if I hadn't? What is it with you women anyway? You have all the relevant data. You know you are patently outclassed when it comes to lethal intent, let alone the power to bring such intentions about, why do you still insist on throwing yourselves into jaws of oblivion?"
Tenchi scratched the back of one arm with her hilt, and then shrugged herself, matter-of-factly. "We're Masaki girls. We don't give up just because something is impossible. Nothing was ever written much about people with common sense, I guess. Besides, the way I figure it, we're currently three for two on you mister Demon man, so maybe we're not the tenaciously hopeful ones."
And eyebrow shot forward in a scythe like arc, sweeping up Kagato's face. "I... "
He thought better of it, sometimes being a genius had its advantages. Turning from the now giggling, GIGGLING... young woman, he wondered what the hell was keeping the Juraiins. Suddenly, he felt in need of rescue.
"Soooo, what the hell is keeping us?" Yousho asked, almost casually, but hinting at the nervous energy bubbling about him and his crew.
"Waiting on word from the colony maestro, you're highness. As you yourself have noticed, this planet is hardly ready for reintegration." Haruna gestured somehow without possessing any individually moving bits.
Yousho sighed, it was so much easier waiting those first few years as opposed to those last few seconds. Then again, it's not like he had had much time to wait. He was almost grateful to his little brother for the... SIX CENTURIES... ahem, or so. He was still young enough to enjoy his wedding and the honeymoon without straining their Life Water supply
Besides, the colony maestro conducted a planet's development from whatever shape and form it originated to its new, hopefully more easily integrated with Juraian society. Criminals, dissidents and radicals often found themselves strangers in a strange land, devoid of tech and history, to start all over. Their children grew and learned under the maestro's watchful eye and within the safety of a "non-interference" edict supported by both the warships of Jurai and the watchful eyes of the Galaxy Police.
If Aeka had made contact with any of the planets inhabitants in her royal role, she would have surely made contact with this man. Yousho was hopeful to find some clue to the current circumstances regarding his sister's prolonged absence. But, if she HAD made contact, why hadn't they heard from her before this? Even if her ship had someone been destroyed, her knowledge and the resources of the maestro, she should have been able to send some word. Had she stayed to function as jailer or was something deeper afoot?
There was also... another possibility.
A screen popped into existence, the view revealing a man sitting at a console of his own, busily clicking translucent buttons. Images of Reubenesque females wearing horned helmets and little else reflected from his glasses. There was a certain ageless quality to him, an inability to place him in any conceivable developmental time frame. His hair, bearing and skin gave him the dignity and look of the ancients. The way he giggled at file names like "Not Till The Fat Lady Orgasms", however seemed to put him somewhere between Sagami and Yousho in maturity.
"Ummm, Maestro Kajishima?" Sakuya cleared her digital pipes in query.
"What? Huh? DAMNIT! I saved it to my wallpaper... again!" The scowl he directed to the both prince and wooden retainer alike levied all the blame their way. "Humph, so your finally ready to collect your property, eh?"
Yousho was a bit taken aback. Unsure what was being referenced, he shifted to congenial and took a guess. "Oh no, not at all, any technology or spoils you've acquired from our latest visit is yours to keep. We're simply interested in the princess... oh and the maniac with the several giga-giga joules of ouchies at his command. Please feel free to integrate anything else into your culture as you see fit."
The maestro held gaze with the prince of Jurai for several more moments than proper, then slid in his chair and resumed refinement of his BBV, Big Beautiful Valkrye, porn collection. There was just enough silence to put a scowl on Yousho's face before the colony despot spoke again, never turning his glare the prince's way. "Maybe I'm being harsh, old arguments with old nobles bubbling up. Still, kid, how can you be sure she even WANTS to come back?"
"So... she is alive." Yousho let tension seep out of his body he hadn't even been aware of accumulating.
Kajishima now did turn to look, and he let out a sigh of his own. "I never said that either kid. Look, even helping you this much goes against the very ideal this colony was founded on. Incestual hoarding of celestial power is as abhorrent as the very concept of divine right. I should know, for all the genetic remanipulation, for all the parables and agents working their magic to bring people to a deeper wisdom, they STILL would rather be lead then to think for themselves. And they still look at their leaders as though they had the lock on sacred freshness."
Haruna harrumphed electronically. "We didn't travel half way across the galaxy for a philosophical debate bordering on blasphemy."
"No, no I suppose not. The current Empress was a bit younger then you when me and mine were arguing against making divinity a family affair. That doesn't change my feelings about helping a young man find his sister so they can be wed and propagate their own personal messianic offshoots." Kajishima’s face was a bit flush, though he kept his voice even tempered. His influence did only extend so far and the wrong words to the wrong noble could lose him what he had... not to mention the planet where in the influence extended.
Yousho kept his voice quiet and patient. It was all bitter heresy that would sooner or later work its way out of their system when they realized the greater good served. Still, he felt the need to defend his family. "Perhaps then you have reason to rejoice. She is only my half sister after all, herself the product of a new found interest in the rest of the universe. A new decree allowing for bigamy with a husband from outside the noble circle has been issued. Should she wish it, the princess may take for herself a non-noble, perhaps even one from this very world. I- I'm not here to steal her from any life she might have chosen, just to integrate it with the one she has a responsibility to."
"Humph, all the incest, half the guilt. Yes, I know, your mother stole her father from me not that long ago. She gave something similar to your excuse. And now I'm supposed to help you steal her back, my own little prodigal granddaughter, given back to the Juraians." Kajishima shook his head, "Honestly, I wonder why we bothered breaking away."
Yousho swallowed, "Emperor Azaka... was an Earthling?"
"They never told you?" Kajishima seemed honestly surprised. "Funny, I always thought they'd promote that little coupe."
"I... knew he was a human, from someplace... goddess, why didn't they tell me? We would have started our search here!" A slight azure glow wafted mist like from the intricately carved ornamental bracers at the prince's wrists.
Kajishima decided to approach all this a bit more warily. He was honestly beginning to like this prince, though heaven knows why he would start taking a liking to nobility now of all times. But even the most amicable son of Jurai in a fully loaded Tree ship could make a nice little grease spot of most planetary masses. Still, he couldn't help and dig just a little with his own personal paranoia. "Maybe they didn't want you to find her either. Sounds like your typical Juraian plot to me, probably have some other minor noble already picked out for you back home. Someone, a bit more... pure."
The look directed by the prince to the maestro chilled his blood to slushie. "That is none of your affair Maestro Kajishima. You have implied and you have ranted, but you have yet to give me a straight answer, where is my sister? Will I find her with Kagato or have you let your prejudices askew your judgment. I assure you if sides have been chosen, you have picked a dangerous one."
Good goddess, I swear I can feel it from here. Whatever Kajishima thought of the breeding practices of the royal court, he couldn't argue with their success. The boy probably wasn't even aware of a tenth of what he could do should he put his mind to it, or worse... his heart. Suddenly, keeping this last bit of info for later taunting seemed less and less like a good idea. The maestro gulped, readjusted glasses that sweat had made slip and cleared his throat. "Ah, well, as to that you see, we're not sure. She never officially made contact with us. By the time my agents arrived on the scene, we found little more then a hastily assembled stasis cell and a story that served the purpose of cover up."
"Story?" Yousho asked, a bit too quietly.
"It's now old legend hardly even remembered by many of the locals, those that survived to have children to tell it to. Apparently a great Yama king battled the daughter of Heaven itself. The very Earth shook and a mountain was reduced to less then mole hill. This celestial champion won her battle, but was mortally wounded. She left her magical sword to guard over the Oni's body and wandered her way to a small shrine, abandoned but for a single female caretaker. The princess of Heaven charged the young girl with watching over the cave where the beast lay, before she died."
Kajishima spared a glance to the young noble, and continued adding something that could either be soothing or a catalyst. "It is said that she went to massive crater formed by the battle and cried for some prince she had broken a promise to. Her tears formed a lake, and where she finally lay down to die, a tree grew. The girl kept her promise and found her lineage to be blessed with daughters of unusual strength and character as payment for their fidelity."
Yousho was... unreadable. "And what was it you found?"
"Like I said, a hastily assembled stasis chamber of Juraian design. We could never confirm who it was locked away down there, the defenses were far beyond what little salvage and trade tech we've kept for ourselves from our other life." Kajishima grimaced a bit at that. He hated anything on his world he couldn't account for. "As for the tree, it is in fact the core to a tree-ship. We were able to confirm that rather easily, though its files are locked up tight."
"And the woman?"
"Just some young local lady that had probably been using the shrine as her own personal abode since there wasn't anyone to claim otherwise." Kajishima shook his head and held up a hand before Yousho could utter a word. "And we checked her out, as best as she would let us. After bacta tanking several of my best agents, I finally got a young female operative in there long enough to get a good scan. The woman was feisty, eager to be about her task and had a scowl that could peel flesh from bones, but she was utterly and completely human.
"The current shrine maidens still claim lineage from the heavenly princess. However, we have yet to confirm any presence of Juraian DNA beyond what little life-force contamination that might be radiating from the leftover tech. After the current matriarch sent five men limping home and whispering about the awesome power of something called, Devo-chan, *ahem* we gave it up for a lost cause. I- I'm sorry Yousho, I'm afraid you may very well have come to rescue a ghost."
Yousho shook his head. "I won't believe that till I have it from her murderer's lips. And if I cannot be a blushing groom, I'll have to satisfy myself with avenger!"
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